There has been a sudden, 100% turn around in Babygirl's home teaching. Last Monday, Ms. T arrived. She's Babygirl's math teacher, and up until now she's not been involved in the home teaching situation. But she noticed how lost Babygirl was on the few days she was in school, and since math is the one class that we've been told she's absolutely, positively 'caught up' with, that says something. When Ms. T discovered how little home teaching she was getting, she met with the assistant principal and offered to take over. There is now a schedule of teachers for every day of the week. There is now a written notice to the school, the special education (Ms. I-speak-to-parents-slowly-in-words-of-one-syllable) coordinator and the medical department that Babygirl will be getting two hours per day of home teaching whether she manages to actually attend school or not. This plan will be reviewed at the end of March. From now until then Babygirl will have received more home teaching than she has gotten to date even if we count last year.
Ms. T is aware that Babygirl knows almost nothing of the material she missed last semester, and admits that at this point doesn't know how to address that loss. But she HAS provided us with textbooks - three physical texts for at home and access to another text online. We also have a website that supplements school lectures, and a CD-ROM with one teacher's entire set of class lectures recorded on it (from the school site that we couldn't connect to from OUTSIDE the school. She is nagging the gym teacher. Her empathy for Babygirl's plight will not devolve into pity. This is the end of the "you make honor roll because you're sweet and I feel sorry for you" (although the special education teacher still decides what grades she gets, which is interesting).
My phone call to the school is not what started all of this. It admittedly made it easier for her to get what she is asking for, since I gave the district what-for ahead of time. But Ms. T started all this not knowing about my call. And that's the difference between a good teacher and a great one.
Babygirl's tutor teacher is a good teacher. She's tried, she's been there when she can, and she's gone above what an average teacher might have done. But Ms. T (who had been out herself much of last semester on a personal leave) saw what was happening and became outraged rather than hopeless. The list of people she called far exceeded mine. I set up the pins. She rolled the strike.
Of course, I can't possibly just sit back and enjoy this. Hubby and I spent over an hour last night configuring the laptop (%(#&%#@*^! Windows 8!) so that Babygirl can easily access the sites she needs, loading up the addresses into her 'favorites' lists and putting passwords where she can find them. And now I'm hoping that she'll feel well enough to manage the new workload, although she managed it all of last week, losing track only of her weekend assignments.
It's an amazing 180.
DeeDee
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
It's Taxing.....
Since I had the afternoon off I figured I be as productive as possible and go through a years' worth of papers, receipts and calendar records to get everything ready for our tax preparer. I started at one. With a one our break for dinner and some homework with Babygirl, I just finished.
There was the usual stuff - mortgage, work expenses, rental property maintenance.
Then there was Babygirl. Kidney transplants don't come cheap.
To be completely honest, it wasn't just her. Hubby and I have our own medical issues and prescriptions, and of course the cost of our health insurance (not counting the Medicare premium) would be the same for the family no matter what. But those costs together never add up to enough for us to deduct them. I think we made it this year, though.
I'll start at the bottom, with the lowest deductible expense: Pharmacy. We filled nearly 200 prescriptions and paid $1396 in co-payments. Remember, for most of these we get a three-month supply.
Next: Travel. Tolls and parking are deductible ($626), but gas (oh don't even start) is not. Some tolls we failed to get receipts for, and some were donated by those from whom we borrowed cars since they wouldn't let us pay back on their Easy Pass bills, so the total would have been much higher. Mileage came to 14,701 miles, which is a deductible of $3381, for a total of $4007.
Close behind this? Health insurance premiums (medical, dental, vision, Medicare) at $5413.
The prize winner: Medical co-payments and deductibles. The total of $8140 didn't particularly surprise me. It would have been MUCH, much higher if Babygirl didn't qualify for Medicare. And we pay $100/month for that coverage (which is added up in the health insurance premiums above).
We have a pre-tax medical spending account and make the maximum contribution, so $2400 cannot be applied to the medical deduction. So the total is $19,157, $16,757 of which is 'deductible.' This is well over what Hubby made at his part-time job in the same year.
How much of this will actually be deducted depends on what our taxable income turns out to be, but be assured there WILL be a sizable deduction even after we subtract 10% of that total.
There is more to the finance of this problem than this, of course, but that's a topic for another post.
DeeDee
There was the usual stuff - mortgage, work expenses, rental property maintenance.
Then there was Babygirl. Kidney transplants don't come cheap.
To be completely honest, it wasn't just her. Hubby and I have our own medical issues and prescriptions, and of course the cost of our health insurance (not counting the Medicare premium) would be the same for the family no matter what. But those costs together never add up to enough for us to deduct them. I think we made it this year, though.
I'll start at the bottom, with the lowest deductible expense: Pharmacy. We filled nearly 200 prescriptions and paid $1396 in co-payments. Remember, for most of these we get a three-month supply.
Next: Travel. Tolls and parking are deductible ($626), but gas (oh don't even start) is not. Some tolls we failed to get receipts for, and some were donated by those from whom we borrowed cars since they wouldn't let us pay back on their Easy Pass bills, so the total would have been much higher. Mileage came to 14,701 miles, which is a deductible of $3381, for a total of $4007.
Close behind this? Health insurance premiums (medical, dental, vision, Medicare) at $5413.
The prize winner: Medical co-payments and deductibles. The total of $8140 didn't particularly surprise me. It would have been MUCH, much higher if Babygirl didn't qualify for Medicare. And we pay $100/month for that coverage (which is added up in the health insurance premiums above).
We have a pre-tax medical spending account and make the maximum contribution, so $2400 cannot be applied to the medical deduction. So the total is $19,157, $16,757 of which is 'deductible.' This is well over what Hubby made at his part-time job in the same year.
How much of this will actually be deducted depends on what our taxable income turns out to be, but be assured there WILL be a sizable deduction even after we subtract 10% of that total.
There is more to the finance of this problem than this, of course, but that's a topic for another post.
DeeDee
Monday, February 25, 2013
Who Needs Sleep.....
Me. I need sleep. But I am in another of those bouts of insomnia that, in a limited way, encourage some productivity at the beginning of the day (say, 3:30 AM) at the expense of any hope of accomplishing anything after 6:30 PM.
I never really have any idea why I can't sleep. But I'm sure I'm tired of it.
DeeDee
I never really have any idea why I can't sleep. But I'm sure I'm tired of it.
DeeDee
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Best. Hubby. Ever........
Apparently we aren't quite busy enough. This month, due to a housing crisis, Boo and JuJuBee moved home for a few weeks. And starting Monday, Curlygirl is starting a nine month cosmetology class, and SHE has a daycare crisis.
Social services will help young mothers pay for daycare if they are in high school, in a GED program, or working. They will not offer daycare assistance moms pursuing higher education. Daycare costs about $30/day. Squeaker's dad works full time and supports them, but they can't come up with $600/month over the costs of rent, food and utilities to pay for this. She's got a partial scholarship and has lined up student loans, and tried to get a place for Squeaker in a co-operative daycare where they could trade volunteer hours for free care. She was prepared to leave home at 6 AM, volunteer at the daycare for two hours, do a full day of school and make it home by 6 PM, but there wasn't a space available for him there.
There's a spot in a local home daycare but he can't stay past three, and the cost is prohibitive.
In steps Hubby.
"I can take him Monday and Tuesday, and pick him up at three." We're paying for half of the daycare cost on the other three days ($45/week) and Curlygirl is picking up the rest. Knowing that Babygirl is going to need to be in the hospital next month makes this nothing short of heroic.
We learned long ago that we can handle anything for a year. Aunt Mary, foster kids, dialysis - it's all doable if you figure you only have to do it for a while. So until the beginning of November, Hubby will be working part-time, doing Grampa Day Care part time, and being Dad to a special needs kid full time. We are planning to take Squeaker and Boo the beach with us. It'll be fun to have some Sandpipers again!
There are no limits to the reasons I love this man.
DeeDee
Social services will help young mothers pay for daycare if they are in high school, in a GED program, or working. They will not offer daycare assistance moms pursuing higher education. Daycare costs about $30/day. Squeaker's dad works full time and supports them, but they can't come up with $600/month over the costs of rent, food and utilities to pay for this. She's got a partial scholarship and has lined up student loans, and tried to get a place for Squeaker in a co-operative daycare where they could trade volunteer hours for free care. She was prepared to leave home at 6 AM, volunteer at the daycare for two hours, do a full day of school and make it home by 6 PM, but there wasn't a space available for him there.
There's a spot in a local home daycare but he can't stay past three, and the cost is prohibitive.
In steps Hubby.
"I can take him Monday and Tuesday, and pick him up at three." We're paying for half of the daycare cost on the other three days ($45/week) and Curlygirl is picking up the rest. Knowing that Babygirl is going to need to be in the hospital next month makes this nothing short of heroic.
We learned long ago that we can handle anything for a year. Aunt Mary, foster kids, dialysis - it's all doable if you figure you only have to do it for a while. So until the beginning of November, Hubby will be working part-time, doing Grampa Day Care part time, and being Dad to a special needs kid full time. We are planning to take Squeaker and Boo the beach with us. It'll be fun to have some Sandpipers again!
There are no limits to the reasons I love this man.
DeeDee
Friday, February 22, 2013
Weekend in an Evening.....
Yesterday I arrived home to discover that the dining room table had ALL the leaves in. And it was covered in pizza boxes. And it was surrounded by family. And then an old friend from High School popped out of the kitchen: "Surprise!"
What would have been an ordinary weeknight turned into a weekend. No, a vacation day! Pizza was eaten, wings enjoyed (well, not by Boo - spicy doesn't work for her yet). Stories of times that feel like just a moment ago but that predate the birth of more than half the people at the table. "Remember how our social studies teacher thought we were the cutest couple she ever met and always let us leave even though we didn't have music lessons and we weren't actually EVER a couple?" "Remember the roller-coaster roads and how we used to drive?" "Remember......?"
The kids seemed bemused by the idea of all of us adults being in High School. They listened to the stories, and laughed at what we used to get away with.
And then the guitars and the wine came out. Folk songs, silly songs, songs about life and death and making love and friendship, all with two to three guitars playing and three or more part harmony. Laughter. Joy. Peace. Friends.
I'm not sure when we went to bed, but it was reluctantly, and late. And despite the lack of sleep (and the wine!) I was energized in the morning, and survived a busy day at work.
People ask Hubby and I how we "deal with everything." It isn't easy, not at all. But nights like last night make it possible to continue hoping and keep moving down the road we travel. A few hours can make a world of difference.
Thanks, guys. Thanks.
DeeDee
What would have been an ordinary weeknight turned into a weekend. No, a vacation day! Pizza was eaten, wings enjoyed (well, not by Boo - spicy doesn't work for her yet). Stories of times that feel like just a moment ago but that predate the birth of more than half the people at the table. "Remember how our social studies teacher thought we were the cutest couple she ever met and always let us leave even though we didn't have music lessons and we weren't actually EVER a couple?" "Remember the roller-coaster roads and how we used to drive?" "Remember......?"
The kids seemed bemused by the idea of all of us adults being in High School. They listened to the stories, and laughed at what we used to get away with.
And then the guitars and the wine came out. Folk songs, silly songs, songs about life and death and making love and friendship, all with two to three guitars playing and three or more part harmony. Laughter. Joy. Peace. Friends.
I'm not sure when we went to bed, but it was reluctantly, and late. And despite the lack of sleep (and the wine!) I was energized in the morning, and survived a busy day at work.
People ask Hubby and I how we "deal with everything." It isn't easy, not at all. But nights like last night make it possible to continue hoping and keep moving down the road we travel. A few hours can make a world of difference.
Thanks, guys. Thanks.
DeeDee
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Week Ninety-six - Edjamacashun......
Tuesday I called Ms. M, the person I am told is the coordinator of special education services to discuss Babygirl's education, or lack thereof. I described the situation to her as I see it:
Babygirl is entitled to two hours per day of home teaching from the school for each day she is out for medical reasons. She's been out for over two months and did not get anywhere close to this amount of home teaching. When she took exams with her class on one of the few days she managed to go to school she came home feeling like a failure, worried I'd be mad at her for not passing any of the tests. Since she's been feeling a little better and going to school once a week or so, she's gotten almost no teaching because her IEP says she needs to be out for three days in a row to restart home teaching. So I can either keep her home when she feels well (which is just plain stupid and would make her isolation compete and hopeless), or I can send her and guarantee that she won't get ANY schooling.
Ms. M spent roughly twenty minutes explaining to me in exhaustive detail (and in words of one syllable) why this is not her problem. This is not a special education issue. Babygirl's IEP is really not at all about the fact that she is sick, exactly, it's about how she needs extra help because she is not passing the state tests AND she happens to be sick. The 'sick' part is handled by a different department and if we are having trouble I need to take it up with them. It seriously took me that entire twenty minutes to get the name and number of Ms. D, the person who IS in charge of the 'sick' thing.
I faxed the latest doctor's note to Ms. D and left a voice mail asking her to call.
This morning we had a chat. I explained the who/what/where/when/why as best I could, since apparently educating my child is the most labyrinthine process on the planet. I explained why the homework hot line is useless to us since we have no textbooks, lesson plans, handouts or organization to help us interpret the instructions. I told her that we cannot connect online to the few video lectures available for one of her classes and that her tutor cannot figure out why. I told her that I've been told that the school lacks the 'technology' to download things onto Babygirl's Nook or my computer. I explained how the school has told me "they don't have enough teachers available." I explained that we might have a fairly extensive hospital stay in front of us, and that Babygirl would be well enough to learn and do homework during that time if we just could take the right things with us to Philly.
Her response was, "Babygirl has enough struggles with her life. This should not be one of them." She had already passed the latest doctor's note to the school doctor who simply said that of course Babygirl should be on home teaching as needed for her medical condition. And the school already has her listed as being on home teaching. So then why can't we get a tutor every day that she needs one without the three day lag?
There should be no lag. She should take the same tests as her peers and pass them. She should be free to attend school for socialization purposes when she is able but her main education should be happening at home.
Let's see how this shakes out.
DeeDee
Babygirl is entitled to two hours per day of home teaching from the school for each day she is out for medical reasons. She's been out for over two months and did not get anywhere close to this amount of home teaching. When she took exams with her class on one of the few days she managed to go to school she came home feeling like a failure, worried I'd be mad at her for not passing any of the tests. Since she's been feeling a little better and going to school once a week or so, she's gotten almost no teaching because her IEP says she needs to be out for three days in a row to restart home teaching. So I can either keep her home when she feels well (which is just plain stupid and would make her isolation compete and hopeless), or I can send her and guarantee that she won't get ANY schooling.
Ms. M spent roughly twenty minutes explaining to me in exhaustive detail (and in words of one syllable) why this is not her problem. This is not a special education issue. Babygirl's IEP is really not at all about the fact that she is sick, exactly, it's about how she needs extra help because she is not passing the state tests AND she happens to be sick. The 'sick' part is handled by a different department and if we are having trouble I need to take it up with them. It seriously took me that entire twenty minutes to get the name and number of Ms. D, the person who IS in charge of the 'sick' thing.
I faxed the latest doctor's note to Ms. D and left a voice mail asking her to call.
This morning we had a chat. I explained the who/what/where/when/why as best I could, since apparently educating my child is the most labyrinthine process on the planet. I explained why the homework hot line is useless to us since we have no textbooks, lesson plans, handouts or organization to help us interpret the instructions. I told her that we cannot connect online to the few video lectures available for one of her classes and that her tutor cannot figure out why. I told her that I've been told that the school lacks the 'technology' to download things onto Babygirl's Nook or my computer. I explained how the school has told me "they don't have enough teachers available." I explained that we might have a fairly extensive hospital stay in front of us, and that Babygirl would be well enough to learn and do homework during that time if we just could take the right things with us to Philly.
Her response was, "Babygirl has enough struggles with her life. This should not be one of them." She had already passed the latest doctor's note to the school doctor who simply said that of course Babygirl should be on home teaching as needed for her medical condition. And the school already has her listed as being on home teaching. So then why can't we get a tutor every day that she needs one without the three day lag?
There should be no lag. She should take the same tests as her peers and pass them. She should be free to attend school for socialization purposes when she is able but her main education should be happening at home.
Let's see how this shakes out.
DeeDee
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
The Lighter Side of the Journey.....
You can't complete a four hundred mile round trip journey without running into at least one moment of complete, well, idiocy.
Babygirl LOVES Perkin's Restaurants, and there are none locally. We do, however, regularly pass at least one on our journey, and it has become our lunch-on-the-way-home place. They are the only place I know that will serve French toast with a side of asparagus.
The first time we stopped there, Babygirl ordered pancakes. When they arrived, she was delighted to discover that they come with a cute little scoop of ice cream on top. Before I could intervene, she spooned the whole thing into her mouth, discovering just a moment too late that it was a cute little scoop of BUTTER. I confess, for me it wouldn't have been a huge problem, but she is NOT a fan of butter at all. Her face as she struggled for some polite way to rid herself of an entire mouthful of it was entertaining, at least from my side of the table. We (I) still giggle about it, but she now usually remembers to ask for "No butter please."
Eating out with the two of us is challenging. I have a severe food allergy to citrus, so lemons and oranges are an issue. Since so very many restaurants casually toss lemon wedges into their ice water and orange twist garnishes onto random plates of food, I have to be very pro-active with wait staff. And Babygirl cannot have any food that carries a germ contamination risk, so no raw veggies, garnishes, cold cuts or uncooked food of any kind. And once again, since restaurants slam a piece of parsley onto anything for decoration, I have to be pretty aggressive about this as well. I also have to instruct the wait staff that the kitchen staff MUST re-glove it they are switching from salad prep to Babygirl's plate. Perkin's usually has no problem at all accommodating this. Burger King is universally awesome. Some restaurants make us feel like circus freaks.
Yesterday's waitress was of the you-are-a-circus-freak variety. As I was explaining my allergy, she interrupted with, "Well, you don't plan to ORDER any of that stuff, do you?" Since lemon juice is a hidden ingredient in most salad dressings, salsas and marinades, I don't know unless you tell me whether or not I'm ordering a potential death sentence, but hey, I'll do my best not to inconvenience you. When I began on Babygirl's list of issues she literally threw up her hands and said, "I'm going to get the manager." Now, it's not unusual for a waitress to consult with the manager about our food problems - it happens all the time. They just don't usually make such a production out of it.
The manager arrived, and listened to our list of 'can't haves' as respectfully as he could given that the waitress kept demonstrating her IQ with additional questions. The one question that REALLY made me drop my jaw was, "Well, you know we use RAW EGGS to make French toast!" I simply stared at her in astonishment.
Um....... ALL food is raw before it is cooked. I held back from saying so because just THINKING that thought seemed so stupid that I just could not bring myself to say it out loud. I had to forcibly pull my chin up and shut my mouth. I didn't get a look at the manager's face, but he went to the kitchen to instruct the staff, so at least I know SHE wasn't doing it.
My sense of humor was running on low before lunch. By the time we arrived home, I could laugh about it, and Hubby just roared when I told him about it.
But next time we stop, I'm not letting her wait on us. She won't want to anyway. She did not get a very good tip at all.
DeeDee
Babygirl LOVES Perkin's Restaurants, and there are none locally. We do, however, regularly pass at least one on our journey, and it has become our lunch-on-the-way-home place. They are the only place I know that will serve French toast with a side of asparagus.
The first time we stopped there, Babygirl ordered pancakes. When they arrived, she was delighted to discover that they come with a cute little scoop of ice cream on top. Before I could intervene, she spooned the whole thing into her mouth, discovering just a moment too late that it was a cute little scoop of BUTTER. I confess, for me it wouldn't have been a huge problem, but she is NOT a fan of butter at all. Her face as she struggled for some polite way to rid herself of an entire mouthful of it was entertaining, at least from my side of the table. We (I) still giggle about it, but she now usually remembers to ask for "No butter please."
Eating out with the two of us is challenging. I have a severe food allergy to citrus, so lemons and oranges are an issue. Since so very many restaurants casually toss lemon wedges into their ice water and orange twist garnishes onto random plates of food, I have to be very pro-active with wait staff. And Babygirl cannot have any food that carries a germ contamination risk, so no raw veggies, garnishes, cold cuts or uncooked food of any kind. And once again, since restaurants slam a piece of parsley onto anything for decoration, I have to be pretty aggressive about this as well. I also have to instruct the wait staff that the kitchen staff MUST re-glove it they are switching from salad prep to Babygirl's plate. Perkin's usually has no problem at all accommodating this. Burger King is universally awesome. Some restaurants make us feel like circus freaks.
Yesterday's waitress was of the you-are-a-circus-freak variety. As I was explaining my allergy, she interrupted with, "Well, you don't plan to ORDER any of that stuff, do you?" Since lemon juice is a hidden ingredient in most salad dressings, salsas and marinades, I don't know unless you tell me whether or not I'm ordering a potential death sentence, but hey, I'll do my best not to inconvenience you. When I began on Babygirl's list of issues she literally threw up her hands and said, "I'm going to get the manager." Now, it's not unusual for a waitress to consult with the manager about our food problems - it happens all the time. They just don't usually make such a production out of it.
The manager arrived, and listened to our list of 'can't haves' as respectfully as he could given that the waitress kept demonstrating her IQ with additional questions. The one question that REALLY made me drop my jaw was, "Well, you know we use RAW EGGS to make French toast!" I simply stared at her in astonishment.
Um....... ALL food is raw before it is cooked. I held back from saying so because just THINKING that thought seemed so stupid that I just could not bring myself to say it out loud. I had to forcibly pull my chin up and shut my mouth. I didn't get a look at the manager's face, but he went to the kitchen to instruct the staff, so at least I know SHE wasn't doing it.
My sense of humor was running on low before lunch. By the time we arrived home, I could laugh about it, and Hubby just roared when I told him about it.
But next time we stop, I'm not letting her wait on us. She won't want to anyway. She did not get a very good tip at all.
DeeDee
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