When the Power Goes.....

 We had an absolutely lovely Beach Week.  Babygirl and I managed far over 10,000 steps daily, typically because we were willing to walk a lot in search of the Bacon-topped Hot Donut or the Savory Crepe.  I'm not sure that we got any healthier because of the walking when I look at it in those terms LOL. 

While we were away, our little city had some exciting weather.  Central NY State does not typically see tornadoes. The last documented tornado in our city was in 1998, affecting less than 5 homes if I recall correctly.  

I haven't seen confirmation that what happened in our neighborhood was a tornado, although quite a few were documented over a several-county area that day.  But there is one block of one street 2 blocks from our house that was substantially damaged. There is a lot of damage across the river from us as well.  The power was out for about 22 hours.  The only damage at home was that our porch umbrella snapped off its support pole.

However.  

We had to ditch the entire contents of our fridge and freezer.  So while Babygirl unpacked all of the beach things, I unloaded about 60 pounds of food and put it in the trash.  This included the things we would have used to make our dinner last night and breakfast this morning. Were there things in the freezer that might have been salvageable?  We had no way of knowing what was "refrozen" vs what was "not thawed out in the first place."  The popsicles were two dimensional, clearly refrozen. 

The first rule of food safety for transplant patients is:  "When in doubt, throw it out."  Frankly, I didn't have a lot of doubt about it, but I really felt sad throwing out steak and scallops.  And bacon. 

Despite a 5+ hour drive home, and the time spent packing and loading before we left, PLUS the fridge clean-out, I went to Aldi to restock.  We still have some things we need that we typically find elsewhere, but nothing urgent. 

And here is the MASSIVE blessing of my life:

Despite a tough year emotionally and financially, I have the wherewithall to have a lovely vacation in a beautiful place, with enough money and energy left over to fully replace what very little we lost.  

DeeDee

Loosening.....

 Babygirl and I are at the beach this week. Two of my very best friends have been here as well. There has been conversation. Crying. Laughing. Storytelling. Remembering.

Babygirl has been coming to this beach town since she was 3. She potty trained here.  She learned to swim in the community pool.  She ran and played with her cousins and sisters.  With the exception of 2020 (Covid) and 2022 (dialysis) we have been here.

This week is "off season." It's delightfully quiet and un-crowded.  But there are no lifeguards.

The ocean has been...variable.  This morning was full of crashing waves.  There were riptide warnings for the first couple of days due to offshore hurricane activity.  The weather has been entirely lovely, if hot.

We have been in and out of the water. Each of the 3 of us who like the ocean has had a solid "tumble" of the kind that gets your attention but makes you laugh. I was in the water with Babygirl early this afternoon, but the look of the pre-dinner waves made me uncomfortable. I can generally get in, but it's getting harder for me to get out.

I got caught in a riptide once.  It was one of the most frightening experiences I've ever had.  There was a moment when I was contemplating how much it might hurt to breathe in salt water, and the simultaneous realization that I might not have a choice.

Babygirl looked things over and went in.  I sat on shore, letting the ebb and flow of the water push me around while I watched her.  Wanting to call her in but realizing I had no good reason to do so.  Wanting to protect her. Wanting.....

Like it or not she is a full grown woman. She is not careless of herself. She is fully capable of taking control of her own choices and safety. She has survived more "riptides" in her life than I ever will. 

It took far too long for my observation of her to change from the quality of Mom-Protecting-Toddler to Mom-Relaxing. I had to consciously loosen my hold. Loosen my muscles. Loosen my apron strings. Loosen my heart. 

Everyone who knows me well knows that I can hold more than one thing at a time in different "compartments."  The "worry about Babygirl" compartment has been quite busy for quite some time now.  I'm far overdue to recognize that she is already carrying her own weight here, and because of that I don't have to carry so much. Like the tide, however. my ability to loosen my heartstrings will ebb and flow.  

DeeDee