Anniversaries.....

Let's face it:  This past year has been a stinker.  2016 is a year that is generally best laid to rest.

We lost my Mom a year ago this month.

Matt had the surgery which, while un-paralyzing his leg, put paid to his ability to work (so we did without his paycheck for the last 7 months of the year while his disability application got sorted.  Good times).

Curlygirl and SqueakersDaddy separated, and she is struggling.

We put our beloved Maybelle down.

My work accidentally put me on medical leave, leaving me with no paycheck for the last three weeks before Christmas, which means NO ONE in the house got paid before Christmas.  (I got paid before New Year's but it took until yesterday to get a physical copy of that final paystub for tax purposes!)

And Babygirl has continued to fight the headaches.  My heart sinks thinking about it.

On the flip side, though, 2016 has had some sweet gifts.

BamBam was born a year ago today, just in time to bring us joy in the midst of our mourning.

I've been in contact with a lost cousin.  I like what I see - I really really really want to meet her in person.

My wonderful son-in-law has been accepted to and started at Cornell University, and I'm so proud to have another Ivy League kid in the family!

Citygirl's promotion at the CIA makes her the youngest executive there ever, and the fastest promoted.

JuJuBee has applied for LPN school, looking for ways to make things better for her growing family.  I'm incredibly proud of her toughness and drive.  I'm incredibly proud of her pride.

If you had asked me, back in the beginning of 2011, what I pictured for the future in six years, I might have mentioned a second home in the south, plans for retirement, Babygirl's upcoming high school graduation. None of those things are happening anytime soon or on the expected timeline.   Life does what it does, and goes where it goes, and we have learned the cold hard truth:  Control over our lives is an illusion.  We can only hang on, and our choices lie in whether we laugh or cry.

I suppose it's anyone's guess whether Babygirl would have had such severe migraines without the transplant. But there is no question of how unendurable her suffering was on dialysis, and she'd be quick to say she wouldn't go back for any money.  Since it's her life, and her pain, my maternal gut-twist over all of this takes second place to the fact that she remains steadfastly and absolutely grateful for her transplant.

And therefore, so am I.

So happy first birthday to BamBam, and happy 5th anniversary to Babygirl's and Jorge's kidney!  Long and happy may they all live!

DeeDee