Me, Too.....

The "Me, Too" campaign to raise awareness of rape/sexual assault/sexual harrassment online has been interesting to observe.  The idea is that any surviver of any of the above should put "Me, too" as their status to let people know just how overwhelmingly common this is.

I'm not surprised by how MANY people have posted. I'm more surprised by how FEW.

Statistics show that one in THREE women (and one in FIVE men) will have some sort of unwanted sexual encounter at some point. I'm not sure those stats even assessed more 'ordinary' day-to-day sexual harassment that women just deal with - catcalls, "why-doncha-SMILE-baby", and having to say, "I have a boyfriend" whether you do or not to get some loser to back off at a bar.

That being said: Me too.

I've never been raped or assaulted.  But....nearly 40 years ago....

I was 22, in my first 'real' job, working in a large biological R&D lab. We did serious research: Our lab developed interferon as a drug, the first biological drug to have to go through the FDA. We developed the test that is still used for early detection of prostate cancer.  It was a very diverse place.  My boss was a Chinese woman, and her boss was a Polish man.  My immediate superviser was Japanese.  One of my co-workers was a soft-spoken Korean woman with a PhD in microbiology.  And then there was Lamonte.

Lamonte was a lab tech.  He was everywhere in lab keeping supplies in place, helping gather specimens for quality control, helping maintain the large tissue cultures required for interferon production.  And one place he ALWAYS seemed to be was behind ME and my Korean co-worker.  He'd sneak up and tickle us in the ribs under the arms, never quite hitting the breasts from behind, simply enjoying watching us jump and shriek.

Personal history:  My dad used to tickle me, and not EVER stop until, well, HE wanted to.  As a child, I had a recurrent nightmare of standing in a spotlight, with hands reaching in from the dark to tickle me.  In the dream I absolutely KNEW that if I could just scream the tickling would stop, but I could NEVER scream.

Lamonte did not sneak up on any of my male co-workers and tickle THEM.  The very first time he did this to me I asked him to never do it again.  He thought that was cute, apparently.  At least once a week, when I could not possibly anticipate it, he snuck up behind me and tickled me.  At the Xerox machine. At my desk. While I was doing delicate work with cell lines. And NEVER when there was anyone to see it. After a few weeks of this I reported it to his supervisor.  A few more weeks and I reported it to MY boss.  My Korean co-worker QUIT, and I didn't find out until much later that he was the reason why.

The last time he did it, I was seated in a solid chair, and by reflex jammed my elbows back, trapping his hands against the metal.  He had the temerity to complain that I had hurt his hands.  I looked him in the eye and told him that if he ever touched me again I'd do more than hurt his hands. And then I went and got his supervisor, dragged her to my boss, and had a come-to-Jesus-shout-down about this ongoing behavior, and how they were allowing sexual harassment in the workplace, and that IF they allowed it to happen again I was going to administration and letting them know just how LONG they had allowed it to continue.

It doesn't sound like much. But it made going to work a gird-up-your-loins chore instead of a joy.  It made me nauseous when I realized he was at work (which was, of course, almost every single day!).  It destroyed my peace of mind.  And it happened only because some man felt he had the right to lay hands on any woman he wanted as long as it was 'just a joke,' whether she was laughing or not.

Me, too.

DeeDee