Three Sundays ago I stood in the pulpet of my church, and told our largely elderly congregation what they needed to hear but did not yet fully understand: We need to stay away from each other to be safe. I resigned, temporarily, as choir director, and told them that I would not be back until the epidemic (then not yet officially a 'pandemic') had made it safe for me to do so.
Within days, I was also working from home. A year ago it would have been unthinkable to have a visit with a patient with no hands-on contact. Now, I have to use my ears, my intuition, my gut. I have to ask patients to tap their own sinuses and report what it feels like without being able to SEE the grimace that tells me that there is a problem under there. Video is coming. I need "Webside manner" training, and I'm supposed to wear my stethescope and a white coat. I have perfectly terrible bedside manner (which is why a certain type of people love me LOL), I don't OWN a white coat and WTH am I supposed to do with a stethescope during a VIDEO visit for crying out loutd?
Covid-19 is reshaping a lot of our world. I'm a natural introvert, living in a house full of introverts. We miss eating out. Otherwise, life is good. But there is a lot of anxiety and uncertainty in the air. Some people's hearts are simple dripping with fear.
I'm not sure what to do about that. It isn't that we, ourselves, have no reason for fear. Hubby and I are asthmatic diabetics. There's some risk there. Citygirl, Jujubee and Curlygirl all have asthma. And Babygirl. Well. Her immune system is suppressed on purpose, so, there's that.
But....
The one solid lesson I have learned, being Babygirl's mom, is that I have no control whatsoever over the future. None. What is coming, is coming. I can do what I CAN do: Make sure there is plenty of soap in the house, make masks for people to wear, keep our food sources safe, and maintain agressive social distancing. But in the end, I will have to deal with what I get, and worrying about it ahead of time will change precisely nothing.
That doesn't mean my mind doesn't go there. I had a serious kick-in-the-gut thought yesterday. Babygirl is technically an adult now. If she gets any kind of sick, I won't be allowed to be with her in the ER, or for any hospital admission. NO visitors are allowed at all anywhere right now, except for "beginning of life, and end of life." And even then, it's only one. One visitor for new moms, or for the dying. Not one at a time: ONE ONLY. THAT might just about kill me.
DeeDee
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