The Living Donor Conundrum....

My kid needs a kidney.  And she needs it sooner rather than later.  Eighteen people die each day waiting for organ transplants.  There are truly tens of thousands of  people waiting, and fewer than 10% of them get the organs they need in any given year.

Dialysis is not a cure for kidney disease, it is a delaying tactic.  The life expectancy of a patient on dialysis is significantly lower than that of those who receive transplants, even taking into account surgical disasters and early transplant failures.

The average wait time for a kidney from a cadaver is 3-5 years. Years. All those years on dialysis.  So she will turn 12. Then 13.  Then 14.  Maybe 15 or 16? before she gets that kidney.

Unless we find a matching living donor.

Usually this is less of a challenge for children than adults, because generally, families treasure their chidren and line up quickly for testing - Devil take the risk!  As you may have gathered, it's not that we don't treasure our baby - we all lined up pretty quick too!  It's that we aren't actually related to her. None of us even pass the preliminary screening.

We are fortunate, blessed beyond all imagination, to belong to a loving and supportive community church.  I have been humbled, awed, and brought to tears by the number of people who have come to us and asked what they need to do to give her a kidney.  Bless them, bless them all! But the majority were either the wrong blood type, or too old (over 60), or too ill (high blood pressure and diabetes takes you out of the running automatically).

We have at least 6 who make the preliminary cut.  Our living donor coordinator was truly impressed by this number.

But here's the thing, emotionally.  Sometimes being a doc interferes with my ability to set priorities in the way another parent might.  Removing a kidney is not a little deal.  It's painful.  It has significant risks, both short- and long-term. And I'm not fond of asking people to take huge risks on my behalf.

And, to whom, honestly, would I be willing to give one of MY kidneys? Some of that is simple.  My kids. My husband.  My brothers, sisters-in-law, neices and nephews.  But....  If I saw a random poster of a kid hanging in my local grocery store, would I call? Would I, as a mom of a young child, offer my spare kidney to someone else's child, knowing the risks of the surgery? I feel tremendously guilty.  WHY didn't I give away my spare kidney before I developed high blood pressure?  Why didn't I think of it?  I'm on the bone marrow donor list - why not a kidney?

Just today I ran into a total stranger who is BabyGirl's blood type.  She says she is on a living donor list but has never been contacted.  I gave her our donor coordinator's card.  Then I went to my car and cried. 

I have never considered myself to be a coward.  And I don't think, in the ordinary scheme of things, that I am selfish.  But I am a SLACKER beside the courage and selflessness of these people.

DeeDee