Ten Years Ago.....

 Today is my Mom's birthday. If she hadn't gotten lung cancer, she'd be 83, and so far into her dementia that she'd likely not know us.  But she'd still like lasagna for dinner, and cake.

Ten years ago today I was in the hospital.  Somewhere in the middle of the headache hell that started out of nowhere, halfway into a month or more of high-dose steroids, I had an episode of severe chest pain, cold sweats and dizziness.  The fact that this all happened WHILE I was in the shower made it more epic.  Hubby drove me to the hospital, soaking wet, dripping conditioner all over the place, and ready to vomit. I was admitted for a couple of days' observation, and had a stress test on the morning of Mom's birthday.  I thought I'd done pretty well, honestly:  I finished the entire thing, no problem.  But when you've finished running, they inject you with this radioactive stuff and scan your heart.

A couple of hours later, a cardiac nurse who could not have been more than 22 came in to give me the news:  You failed the test.  You need cardiac catheterization.  You get to go home, but they want you back the day after Christmas for that test.

(I don't know if you've ever been on steroids.  As near as I can tell, they are something like bipolar disorder mixed with menopause in a bottle.  You can't sleep at night because you are too warm and too busy cleaning corners and wrapping individual sticks of gum for Christmas stockings.  And you REALLY want to call random people at 3 AM.  And then you crash unexpectedly for death-and-resurrection naps, which, if you don't get them, you cry for no reason. Or you cry anyway. Or shout at someone. )

So I started to cry. Not the pretty kind - the blubbery, snot-producing kind.  "It's my Mom's birthday. There are going to be 20 people at my house for dinner. And tomorrow is Christmas Eve and they are coming back for that and I direct the choir fot THREE church services AND THEN CHRISTMAS!!!!"

God bless that nurse. She pulled her shoulders back, pointed her finger into my face, and VERY sternly said, "Do you know what you need to DO??"

'Wh-wh-whaat?" I blubbered.

"You need to go home, and act like a man with a COLD!" she scolded.

Oh my freaking goodness.

I never turned crying to laughing so fast in my life. It remains the single best piece of medical advice I have EVER been given.  And I followed it.

But I remember thinking, at the end of 2010, how horrible the last few months had been.  How grateful I was that the year was behind me, and how hopeful I was that the next would be better. I had no idea on earth that 2011 would be an endless horror, and 2012 almost moreso.

The struggles we have had. The blessings.  How do you untangle it all?  Babygirl's struggles with dialysis were going on as we welcomed our precious little Boo. Babygirl's transplant came right before Squeaker did.  She needed antirejection treament when a little Rose came our way, and little man came into the world the same week my mom left it. 

2020 was hard for a LOT of people.  Job loss and insecurity, sickness, loss of family members and friends.  The general political shitshow, the unkindness, social isolation, the endless home learning.  People are REALLY wanting this year to be DONE, and here we are cleaning up the biggest snowfall on record while anticipating an epic flood.

(Personally, my bad.  I didn't plan on making lasagna this year.  So Mom arranged it so I HAVE to make it.)

I've reached a point, however, where I'm just riding the ride.  If I've learned anything at all from the past 10 years, it's that I have precisely zero control over what's around the next bend.

DeeDee

Telling Right From Wrong.....

 Election Day was 2 days ago and we don't have a declared winner.  This does not distress me. 

Our Commander in Chief had begun litigating the undeclared outcome.  This does not surprise me. 

What does surprise and distress me is how close the numbers are.  This indicates to me that the country is divided almost exactly in half, and EACH half is ABSOLUTELY convinced that the ENTIRE OTHER HALF does not know how to tell right from wrong. At. All.

This would be easier to cope with if I could just explain it away as a "low IQ" issue, or a "lack of education" issue, but I'm a doctor, and have colleagues living in a "blue state" who have voted on both sides.  

How is this country going to recover from believing that HALF of everyone around us is so....wrong? Stupid? Stubborn? Misinformed? When they believe the same of us?

Lord God, grant us grace.

DeeDee

November and Thankfulness......

 I'm pretty sure I skipped expressions of gratitude on the Blog last year, and I'm not sure why.  There are plenty of reasons to be grateful, for sure.  Babygirl is all grown up, and she is doing very well from an overall health standpoint. She is taking nearly full responsibility for maintaining her health these days, and it's a pretty impressive thing.

But we shared a really BIG rite of passage together yesterday.  We went together to vote early in what was her first presidential election.  (My first was Carter. Lordy, I'm old.) She's been voting 3 years, since age 18. She actually registered to vote on the street during Porch Fest at a Get Out The Vote outreach (proof that these events are worth doing, folks - keep up the good work!). We've had some lively conversations over the past year about the candidates, the parties, the issues, Supreme Court Justices, and what matters to us in the long run. 

Neither of us is happy about the ages of the two men running. But someone online said, "It's not a prom date. It's a chess move." That seemed like a pretty profound way to look at it, in reality.  Which of these ridiculously elderly men gets us closer to whatever goal we have in mind? 

As we finished waiting in line, and were about to step forward to sign in for our ballots, I looked her in the eye and said, "May the odds be ever in our favor!"

We went in laughing.  I came out praying.  

Babygirl is going to need healthcare for a long, long time. Getting her that care has been an ongoing battle.  May the odds, indeed, be ever in our favor.

Thank you, Lord, for the right to vote.

DeeDee. 

Dog Poop and Political Discourse....

 Apropos of nothing kidney related...

There's a house in the neighborhood that's been for sale for a while.  So long, in fact, that I attended an open house there pre- Covid. If I recall correctly, the weather was warm when I toured the house, so it had to have been about a year ago.

It finally sold. The new owners built a nice new deck to the side of the house.  And they added a Trump campaign sign on the lawn in front of it.

They aren't common in my neighborhood. Biden/Harris signs are everywhere. And it's no great secret to anyone who knows me that I'm not a Trump fan, even if my yard hasn't got a political affiliation.

But, hey. People are entitled to put up their campaign signs, and, in my opinion, they are entitled to have their signs left unmolested by others who disagree with them.

But as I was passing, I noticed that someone had made a statement, as it were, about the sign.  Right in front of it was a large, bright blue pooper-scooper bag full of doggy doo. 

As a political statement, I had to admit, I agreed. And it made me laugh out loud.  

But it took about 10 seconds for me to do the math on it.  Do I really want my new neighbors "welcomed" to the neighborhood in this way? And do I, in my heart of hearts, really feel that level of disrespect for the political process?

I added the bag to ones I was already carrying and finished my walk. 

DeeDee

PS I'm not at all ashamed that I laughed.  I'd've laughed if it was in front of a Biden/Harris sign, although I doubt anyone would have had a red bag handy for that.

Floral Memories....

 When my Mom died, my girls discussed getting matching tattoos in her memory. This is still on the table. Designs have been tossed about on various occasions, but all apparently agree that the tattoos should be floral, to reflect Mom's love of gardening. But what flower?

The Princess and Babygirl were discussing this last while she was home. The problem for Babygirl is that her memories of her Grandma are narrower than all of her sisters'. She's the youngest. She recalls Dementia Grandma in detail, Gardening Grandma, not so much.     

But my Mom was always a gardener. In the home I grew up in there were numerous flower gardens - a side bed, a large front bed full of poppies and irises, the bed by the front door; and, in some years, a vegetable garden.  I remember a patch of hens-and-chicks, thickly surrounded by forget-me-nots (a most incongruous pairing!). Tucked by the shaded back door there were lily-of-the-valley.  Large clumps of peonies had pride of place near the front door, to be picked each year and donated for the church altar and high school graduation. Wild violets graced lawn, I was taught early the difference between a daffodil and an jonquil. 

In the home she had when the Princess was a child, she had a large shady garden, so the peonies had to move to the back yard. The deer there ate any and all bulb flowers, but bleeding hearts grew in abundance at the front door, with impatiens and giant begonias.

At her last home, things got a little wild. She had clematis growing up the side of the porch, and later, wisteria. There was sweet pea in the back, and the bleeding hearts made it into the woods. But the poppies reined in front, and peonies marched down the entire side of the property.

She was a lover of wildflowers as well. Babygirl and I took a hike today, and I got some snapshots of a large variety of flowers, not all of which I could ID, but I know my Mom could have.  

When we needed to set up email for her, I asked her to make up an email address.  She couldn't come up with anything on the fly, so I named her CooCooLady.  She went with it for a while, but later asked for an upgrade. She started with flower suggestions, but single flowers, peony among them, were all taken.  She finally got "PoppyAster" to stick.

Poppies are out of season. Here's an aster for you.

Babygirl and I are on a girl's weekend together, camping.  I miss my mom.  She was never the type to take the 4 mile hike through the woods (to be fair, we weren't intending to go that far.  It was a lovely ramble but we were lost for a minute), but she taught me to SEE the little flowers, learn their names, appreciate the beauty around me, as well as how to keep your sense of humor while you wait for the camp coffee to be done. 

So, Mom? Thanks for being that Mom who did the Girl Scout camp outs, the cross-country trips, and the repetitive weekend camping at the lake.  Memories. 

DeeDee

Being the Landlady.....

 Our house is a duplex. A couple of months ago our tenants mentioned that their oven wasn't working correctly. Judging by how often their smoke detector went off we just assumed they were terrible cooks, but when I went ot look at it, it was clear that the stove that we moved into the house in, gee, maybe 2002 (?!) had some issues in terms of how well the oven was holding together, so I promised them a new stove. 

And then I sort of....forgot about it.  Hey, it's summer. Use the grill, right? Oddly, they forgot about it too.

Yesterday Babygirl and i went to Best Buy to check out computers, as hers had died of some sort of fluid overload, apparently.  While she was checking with the Geek Squad about whether the old computer could be saved (it could't), I wandered the floor and spotted a pair of stoves for sale. They were floor models, "as is, and vastly reduced in price. The better deal didn't match the other kitchen appliances in the apartment, so I walked away.

Today, among our many other missions, Babygirl and I went shopping to replace OUR leaking fridge.  While we were out and about, we noted exactly how pricey even the cheap stoves were. I had walked past an incredible bargain. So once we had finished our business, we hustled back to Best Buy, and the stove was still there. We snapped a photo, cleared the color with the tenants, and decided to purchase it.

"I'll take another $50 off it you can put it on a truck now and take it home."

Well.  It just so happens we have a truck. Babygirl and I had just returned a truckfull of bottles and cans, or we would have been in the car as usual.  Four young people hoiked the bubble-wrapped stove into the truck, and we came home to do the easiest self-install ever. 

Yes, that's a griddle in the middle. 

Blessings to the neighbor who willing added that one extra set of muscles to the job - the truck tailgate is broken and will NOT go down.  Thanks, Nate!

DeeDee

Shot Shenannigans.....

 No vacation is complete without some medical drama. The Botox saga has been quietly running throughout the background of all the fun times. Although I am DEAD certain as to what type of insurance Babygirl has, Ms Snark at the Neurology office remains fully convinced that I suffer from a craniorectal impaction coupled with the basic lack of her vast understanding of How This All Works. To that end, she has spent the past few weeks enjoying the following passtimes:

She called to let me know that the prior authorization (given by the insurance that she no longer actually has) for Babygirl's Botox resides with Pediatric Neurology at Nemours, and someone at Nemours MUST call that insurance company and release the authorization so they the new doctor can get it.  We went through this last year, when it was actually more-or-less true, and it isn't that complicated. New Doctor can simply ask the insurance to change the authorization to his name without the middleman interferance, but The Snarkster doesn't believe this.  She also doesn't believe me when I tell her that the new insurance has ALREADY authorized the Botox, because "It's not Babygirl's PRIMARY insurance. We have to do this FIRST!"

Well, no point wasting your day arguing with a donkey. It upsets the donkey, and you lose the argument either way, right? 

"Absolutely not a problem. I know exactly who to talk to at Nemours. I'll call them now."

I called and spoke to the same woman who helped us through this all LAST year.  She said, "You know that THAT insurance didn't pay for the last 2 sets of shots, right?" I did know. We had a private laugh about the donkey situation.  She explained that this isn't her job anymore, but the poor guy who just started will likely blank out completely if she tries to explain the madness to him, so she she'll just take care of it.  God bless the people who are willing to do something utterly pointless that isn't their job for someone who isn't their patient anymore. THAT's how it should be, if it must be.

Two days later I got word from Babygirl's old insurance that they won't pay for her Botox because she isn't their patient anymore.  Jeepers! Who'd've seen THAT coming? They cc'd Ms Snark. She called me to let me know the new insurance would be in touch about delivery. That felt nice. 

(There is a reason I sometimes feel I need to work of some time I'm accumulating on that bench in purgatory...)

Moving on.

I got a call from Babygirl's Actual Insurance, confirming the name of the new doctor, his current address (they had 3 listed!) and setting up a shipment date.  Okey dokey.

The next day I got another call from the SAME company for the same purpose.  That felt a little confusing, so I pointed out to the nice lady when we were done that I had already done this. She checked the compurter, and said, "Odd. It doesn't show." Hmm... I don't care, I guess, as long as the stuff gets there. It's scheduled to arrive 9/1 for injections on 9/4, so, all good. 

Yesterday (which WAS 9/1!) I was in the car and the phone rang, 800 number, so I answered.  Blessings on those of you with the luxury to ignore such things.  

It was a recorded message from the pharmacy for Babygirl to let her know there was a shipping delay for her medication. They spit out a number to call if I had questions, but I was DRIVING. The number they quoted was different than the one the call origiated from, but I hit redial and hoped for the best.

I explained the situation to the very lovely person who answered. She looked up the presription, and said, "But I have a UPS delivery routing number here that says its "out for delivery" today!" W....T...

So on my to-do list today is to call the doctor's office and confirm whether or not they got the Botox.

I think I can call my cardiologist and let him know I don't need my annual stress test this year.

DeeDee

And an Early Celebration.....

Babygirl will be 21 tomorrow. I know, like, really?  I said something in church the other day and thought some of the folks might need cardiovascular assistance.  Sometimes I think I might.

So, in honor of both THAT momentous occasion, and the Princess's last evening here, we threw the most socially distanced party that we could yesterday. 

 Even though she's a couple days shy of legal, the sisters had her pop a cork (the video's cute LOL) and have a toast to adulthood.

I want her whole next year to look just like this. 

There was dancing...

Swimming....

Swinging....

Video game skills training...

Female empowerment seminars...

We won't talk about whatever this was. Rockin' those socks and flip flops as always, Babygirl1

How about a "Let me show you my I-did-it-myself-COVID-hairstyle!"

I adore that grin, BTW.

Dancing flames. 

Tattoo pride.....

And some interesting end-of-day lighting effects....

There are about 10 of these. In NOT ONE of them does every child have their eyes open, and in none of them do more than any two of them appear to be looking at the same camera. This is, sincerely, the best one. 

In the end it comes down to family. Making sure that there is firewood, enough wine and enough marshmallows to go around is part of the story. But the sincere desire to make lasting memories is the thing that will make this week stand out in all of our hearts.

Thanks, Princess.

I am going to miss you.  We are all going to miss you!

DeeDee

Lunch and a Pile of Rocks....

 Our original plan for Saturday morning was to join up with my sis-in-law and her daughter for a hike and a picnic in Ricketts Glen State Park in PA. Reputed to have amazing trails and tons of waterfalls, and located about 2 hours' drive from each of us, it seemed ideal.  Sadly, Hurricane Laura had other ideas.

With the weather predicted to be too rainy for that type of hiking, we opted to meet in the middle for lunch, and possibly take a look at Hickory Run State Park instead if the weather cleared at all.

We've been there before with the kids, but the problem with being the youngest is that either you weren't born yet or were too young to remember the journey, so Babygirl had no clear recall of the park at all. After a hearty diner lunch, during a break in the rain, we took a chance and went to see the most unique feature of the park: The Boulder Field.

Boulder fields are fairly rare perglacial geologic formations caused by the freeze/thaw cyles near glacial margins.  The one in White Haven PA is large, spanning several acres, averageing a 12 foot depth of rocks of varying sizes.

It takes more than a little concentration to walk.

Unless you let your inner mountain goat take over.

The matching cousin outfits were accidental but adorable. 

She lives in a third-floor Brooklyn walk-up. Mountain Goat, on, girl.

At the center of the field, if you are quiet, you can hear the springs that feed Hickory Run under the boulders. If you are quiet, near the edges, you can hear the rattlesnakes that live there...

Just kidding - I've heard the water, never the snakes.

I'm pretty sure we consumed more calories than we burned on this one, but it was more than worth the drive to have a family gathering after so much isolation! 

DeeDee

The Littlest Princess....

 Curlygirl has had a busy life in the past couple of years. Squeaker is getting older and more independent, so of course, finding a lovely new man and starting a second family just makes sense, right?  I mean, I didn't find the new man until AFTER I started the second family, but everybody has their own way of doing things LOL.  

One of the Princess's goals for this visit was to spend some time with the Littlest Princess, so we decided that a walk on fairly level ground was in order. 

Nothing to look at here. Unless you want adorableness, that is.

We walked a total of 6 miles. The Primary Princess's knee had had it with all the stairs from previoius walks. The Littlest Princess did a solid mile. I love how her brother looks at her.

When your little legs just won't do it anymore....

The Princess NEVER would keep a bow on her head. I don't know how Curlygirl manages to keep this up.

For those of you trying to count grandkids, just give it up. The Littlest Princess came with a free bonus Prince. He is Love on Legs.

Seriously...that bow.

The group just kept mixing. The nice thing about a long walk is that everybody gets to talk to everybody at some point.  At the far end of the trail, those who were so inclined practiced their cartwheels, forward rolls and other monkeyshines in the (very) wet grass, somehow finding this a restful break from the walk.

At the other end, the playground was the inspiration for surviving the return journey.

Sisters.

And babies.

Not really sure about this.....

You have to love a mom who is raising kids to enjoy a 6 mile walk with grownups for no more than the joy of spending time with them. There was no whining or complaining, no lollygagging or ill-mannered behaviour of any kind.  Curlygirl is doing a fine job in a difficult time, for sure.

DeeDee

Meromictic Lakes.....

 No week should go by without learning something new.  So this week I learned about the Green Lakes of New York at Green Lake State Park.  I'd heard of them, but never seen them, and had no idea why they were green.  For those who are interested in a day trip, they are located in Manlius, NY, near Syracuse.  There is an $8/car day-entry fee, that includes use of the beach. No boating is allowed at this time due to Covid regulations. 

This picture has nothing specific to do wiht the story. It's just nice to see Babygirl having a good time.

The waters of the lakes (Green Lake and Round Lake) at Green lake state park are not the typical freshwater lake color we see in the Finger Lakes or local ponds, typically brownish green, or simply reflecive of the sky's current shade.  These lakes have their own tint, that even under the cloudy skies we had that day, tended toward green-turquoise.  

 The color becomes more vivid depending on perspective....

.....or shadowing......

.....or object placement AND shadowing....

The intense green-blue in the center of this photo is the WATER behind the trees. It's the trippiest photo I think I've ever taken. 

The lakes were formed due to a glacial effect that left behind a geologic phenomenon combining a high calcium carbonate content (which is what you see in the water that collects in quarries, resulting in similar coloration), in the top layer, with 2 additional deeper layers of different chemical content and different temperatures that never mix (definining the term "meromictic").  I read the entire explanation a handful of times, and I still don't have a good grip on it and I'm a scientist.  

I will say, we arrived after a sizeable storm, with plenty of evidence of rapid water entry into the lake.  It was VERY still.

Another very interesting thing about the lakes is that they have coral.  I had NO idea that there was such a thing as freshwater coral. 

We hiked the circumference of Green Lake between storms.  We missed Round Lake entirely.

You can't entirely see it, but my T-shirt says, "I run a tight shipwreck."

2020 in a nutshell.

In between the section of the woods below and the one above, Babygirl observed that we had switched from "Narnia" to "The Wizard of Oz."

It was not a complement to the change in ambiance.

Despite the grey skies it was a lovely park to visit.  On a warmer day, the beach would have been inviting.

DeeDee

PS And what were we doing exploring the Syracuse area?  One of the Princess's childhood friend bought her first home in the neighborhood and we had to check it out!

Congrats!  What a find!

Ithaca Is Gorges......

Following our visit to the hemp farm, we stopped at Cornell University. For those who have never been there, it's big. As in "has its own zip code" big. Positioned on the side of a hill, it has old buildings, hilly roads, and Ivy League ambiance, and amazing views. (That....is at tree. Not a hair ornament.)

It also has a lot of natural landscaping. This little gorge is hidden in the middle of the campus, a beautiful, quiet spot that rarely has more than one or two people in it even though it conveniently shortcuts between buildings.

The building below is the Statler Hotel. It is also the Hotel School.  The students there must learn all aspects of the hospitality industry, including housekeeping, front desk, restaurant (front and back), management, supply.....it's endless.

And no visit is complete without shopping. Although, to be fair, it was a chilly day. Shirts were needed.

And lunch in a funky sandwich shop:  Required Ithaca Experience.

But the toughest part of a visit to Ithaca is narrowing down WHICH gorge you are going to hike. Buttermilk? Taughannock Falls?  We decided to keep it simple and just do the Cascadilla Gorge Trail (which, it turns out, is the official name for what I have always called "The Gorge"). Websites variously list it as being anywhere from 1 - 1.5 miles long, with a 400 foot drop. They all say that there are "a lot" of steps.

Parking your car at the top of a gorge and hiking DOWN is a rookie mistake (unless you are at Watkins Glen, where you are bused up to the top LOL), but that is what we did.  

I sincerely contemplated calling Uber at the bottom. But....I made it through Bushkill Falls, and that was WAY more than this, right?

So.....

Not too sweaty at the bottom.  It gets worse.

I opted out of the photo below. By this point, I knew if I got down there, I wouldn't be able to get back up.

Because we'd already dont THIS up.

And THIS up.

I don't need to describe the final condition of that bandana.  Those of you who have done mission trips just...know. 

But we were all smiling.  

In case any of you want to know, I counted 408 steps from the bottom to the top.  It's a motivational thing with me. 

DeeDee