Scrubbing Off the Fear......

They enforced the visiting rules on me yesterday, sort of.  The charge nurse came in at about 2 PM and told me I would not be allowed to stay the night again, and that I would be limited to 4 consecutive hours visit/day from here out. Since visiting hours start at 8 AM, I was well over THAT limit already. But, she didn't specifically say I had to leave immediately, so.....I stayed until 8 PM.  After all, I haven't been given a visitor's badge with a time stamp since I got here, so who's gonna know I overstayed (except the charge nurse, who has clearly figured out that I am a serious asset to Babygirl's care and survival)?

I settled in the hotel room, ate some Uber Chinese and crashed.  I even forgot to turn on my phone ringer, but the hospital didn't call. I slept 9 hours, the first un-interrupted night since Curlygirl was diagnosed with Covid, before Christmas.

This morning I got up, made and drank ALL of the hotel room Keurig coffee, and took a long, hot shower. There wasn't an inch of me that didn't feel like it was covered in sweat and fear.  I scrubbed. A lot.  And cried, a little.  Okay, maybe more than a little. Bathrooms are for crying, right moms?

Babygirl has thus far survived a brush with death so close that another hours' delay in seeking care would likely have been the end of her. 

It could be a long road back.

Keep praying.

DeeDee