Week Thirty - Conflicting Obligations......

So far I think I've done pretty well juggling all the things I need to juggle.  I had to drop out of a few things (directing church choir hurt the most) and say no to a few more.  I still manage to get to Bible study a couple of times a month at least, and am making a concerted effort to get back on board with my exercise program.  And I must say that the family has been, generally, uncomplaining. But after half a year of hearing about what Babygirl needs, it must be getting tiring.  And this morning it occurred to me that I may end up running into a major conflict of interest soon. 

My eighteen year old, my Curlygirl, is having a baby.  I think it's the coolest thing in the world (although she disagrees!) that she is due on February 29th.  She has been doing okay with the pregnancy, but her asthma is kicking her hard.  And she's tiny, barely five feet tall, and very narrow-hipped, so I've been thinking that a C-section may be in the works for her.  And I plan on being there for her no matter what. 

Except.....

What if THAT's the week we get a kidney and are trapped in a hospital four hours away?  I mean, I know I shouldn't borrow trouble.  But I also have a sinking feeling that my life is just refusing to go the way any normal life should go. Yes, I know the wait is three to five years, but we've already had TWO offers, so it's not impossible to imagine that we won't wait that long. 

I think I need to talk to both of them about it.  This one "what if" probably needs to be covered in advance, however unlikely it may be.  But how do you choose between two such enormous needs?  How do you decide whose disaster you would rather be present for, should one occur? How do you explore the feelings of a child who has every reason to fear another surgery, and compare them to those of a young adult who has already had far too much experience with the sensation of maternal abandonment?

In a way, I think even I am tired of always putting Babygirl first.  Curlygirl needs me just as much, and maybe more for this one time in her life.  Ugh.

DeeDee