Week Forty-four - Isn't There a More Respectful Term.....

than "HARVEST"?

Citygirl is in her mid-twenties, like Babygirl's donor was.  As a mom, I can only dimly, painfully imagine losing her.  Like all of my girls, she is incredible.  She's loving, hard-working, kind and funny.  She's always been the one who brings a dozen friends along to wherever she is, be it home, school, or the St. Patty's Parade.  She's the kind of person who throws a birthday bash for a good friend.  Especially if that friend is turning 90.

But if something DID happen to her, she'd want me to have her organs donated.  I think she's always thought it was a good idea, but since Babygirl's illness, it's become a solid idea. 

And I would.  I would let someone "harvest" her organs. And that word makes me incredibly queasy.  I know that they have to call it SOMETHING.  And I can't honestly think of a term that would make me feel better about it.  Recycle?  Reuse?  I think I mind "remove" less. 

There is something about "harvesting" that feel inappropriate to me.  Something mechanical; something, well, plant-related that should have no bearing on THIS reality.  Something cold-blooded, calculating, scheduled.  Something I definitely do not want done to someone I love.

People say things like, "Well, at least it gives death some meaning." Or, "At least you know part of your loved one lives on."  I'm guessing by how my heart feels as I write this that those thoughts would be cold comfort, indeed.

Yet someone made that choice so my child could live.  Someone decided, in the most stressful moment of their lives, to do the impossible.  Maybe Babygirl's donor had told her family that that was what she wanted and they honored her choice.  Maybe they had never talked about it. 

I know that I have told my family for years that if anything should happen to me, I want to be an organ donor.  But I know that I have not, until now, had a discussion with my now-adult children (except Citygirl) whether they would like to be donors.  And I need to do this.  God forbid anything should ever happen to them.  EVER.  But......

It's easier for me to imagine following someone elses' instructions than having to wing it on a decision like this.  It would be much easier to deal with the concept of "harvest" if I knew my child was really, really convinced that it was the thing THEY wanted more than anything.

I don't know much about Babygirl's donor.  And likely I never will.  In time, I will write her family and tell them exactly how precious their gift is to us, but that letter must perforce be anonymous.  I will tell them how we never really saw how sick she was until we got her back to healthy, and that would never have happened without them.  I will tell them of all the things she can eat, the things she can do, the places she can go because of their sacrifice. Cold comfort though it may be, I will offer them what I can.

Sign your organ donor card. And TALK about it.  Tell your family that it is what you really, really want.  Make their choice easier. Go here: http://donatelife.net/register-now/ and fill out whatever forms your state requires to make it obvious that this IS what you want. Like the bumper sticker says, "Don't take your organs to Heaven.  Heaven knows we need them here."

DeeDee