Saturday, September 21, 2013

New Eyes.....

My glasses are getting a bit worn.  I think it's been two years since I last had an eye exam and got a new pair, so the chips and scratches are hardly surprising. 

So I went for an eye exam.

"Did you get these glasses here or somewhere else?"  "Here."  "And you say it's been two years since your last exam?"  "Well, I think so - I've been kind of busy."

My last exam was in 2009. 

Looking back, I can kinda sorta remember that I was supposed to go for an exam in December of 2010, right smack dab in the middle of Migraine Hell.  I'm sure that I couldn't face having bright lights flashed on my retinas, so I put it off.  About the time I might have considered rescheduling, Babygirl got sick.

There probably is no end to the things that got back-burnered  when our lives turned upside down and inside out.  I know I've been pretty good about keeping up with my doctor visits (although I'm thinking that I may be just a little overdue now).  I managed church, work, doctor visits, Hubby's surgeries, and a bunch of other stuff during the two and half years we've been dealing with this. 

But I'll never know, unless I trip over it, what things got so deeply buried that they may never be cared for.  I'm guessing many of my good friends think of me fondly and wonder if I'm still alive (so to speak). I've not been a good or reliable friend for a while, certainly.  I've been on the taking rather than giving end of things, absolutely.  And you know what?  I think I don't mind.  And I'm hoping they don't either.  Anyone who wants can give us a shout and we'll try to get back in the swing of things.

Priorities around here have changed dramatically.  We circled the wagons and kept them that way.  It's a testament to how our lives have been that I consciously rejoiced today because it's been over TWO MONTHS since any one of us was admitted to a hospital.  I'm still doing the happy-happy joy-joy dance over the fact that I don't have to leave my home to go to Philly for THREE WHOLE MONTHS.  Babygirl's ongoing needs mean that I spend a substantial portion of each weekend cleaning.  My Mom's needs mean that I have less down time in the morning, and less freedom to just run away from home whenever I want.  I rarely have time for the type of introspection that would uncover anything that I am missing.

But there are a couple.

Music.  Babygirl and I have an ever-growing playlist, and it's wonderful to belt out "Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough..."  with Pink, or "New York state of mind" with Billy Joel, but it isn't choir music.  I miss making music with other people, and the depth of worship it inspires.  If someone else would run the choir I'd join.

Adult friends.  We've begun having people come over for dinner here and there, and I hope to expand our guest list a bit.  I'd like to get to know some people we don't know well, and re-affirm old friendships.  As witty as Babygirl has become, and as acerbically funny Hubby can be, it's nice to bring in some folks from the outside again. 

Wine with Citygirl.  Her years in the city and recent move to the west coast have made it harder for us to stay connected.  Phone only takes us so far, and I truly, truly miss her.  She's having a great time working for a couple of wineries and excited about starting classes this week.  It is wonderful, absolutely amazing to have a daughter grow up to be such a great friend.

On the flip side, I have JuJuBee and Curlygirl here at home.  I spend more time with them now than I did when they lived at home in high school, and I'm grateful for time with grandkids and my girls.  Having little people call me 'Grandma' (or something that sounds kind of like that) is such an amazing blessing. 

So I guess it was time for me to get new glasses.  Time to look around with new eyes at the life we have now.  It's a good life, better than I would have expected.  We're walking a tough road, aware that there are tougher ones and thankful for the blessings we have.  I'm amazed at how light it is looking through these new eyes, grateful for small blessings that I might not have appreciated without the struggles we've endured.


PS I would suggest, for future reference, driving home with the OLD glasses and adjusting to the new somewhere other than behind the wheel.  Experience speaks.

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