My mom needed help with her shopping today, so I opted to skip Sunday School so I could get some housework done. I figured I'd go to church, take her to lunch and then the grocery store. At her current pace I knew that it would take most of the afternoon.
Babygirl had gone back to bed after taking her meds, so I woke her up at ten with instructions to be ready to go in 45 minutes. I continued cleaning like a lunatic, left myself five minutes to get dressed, and came downstairs to find her watching TV in her PJ's.
The fact that I was feeling pressured for time AND chatting with my brother to make sure my mom was up and on her way doesn't excuse the fact that I YELLED at her to get her butt in gear and get ready to go: "You have SIXTY SECONDS!"
We whipped out to the car and drove to church, arriving with about two minutes to spare. I parked the car, and then got a good look at her.
Sigh. She had her eyes covered but it didn't hide the tears leaking out around the edges. She was clearly hurting in every way you can hurt - head, heart, soul. I apologised, hugged her tight and drove her home, then came back to church to meet my mom. I arrived in time for the sermon.
The final hymn was "Great is Thy Faithfulness."
"Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow...."
I need both, and feel I have neither.