Lent is here. Again. Already. Seriously, where does the time go? Like every year, I've given some thought to the discipline that Lent is supposed to represent, with an eye toward improving my relationship with God.
When a pastor friend of mine shared this link: Forty Things to Give Up for Lent I almost didn't check it out. I mean, I don't need MORE things to add to the list, right?
But it's a great list of things to consider giving up, not for Lent, but forever. Blame, guilt, fear of failure, apathy - we all carry so many of these things around with us unnecessarily. They make our burdens heavier and our days darker to no purpose.
Sorrow, ungratefulness, envy and worry - those all spoke to me. Yes, much of Babygirl's life is sad, and that make me sad, which leads rapidly down a road to all three of those other things: I'm NOT thankful for this life sometimes, I envy the health of other kids, I worry about her future...and then it cycles back to sorrow. Just putting it on paper makes me weep, and how do I not?
It's easier to give up chocolate and cussing. But those are not the things that separate me from the love of God, are they?
Working on these issues may be one of the hardest disciplines I've ever chosen. And in fact, I have not chosen it, it 'chose' me. The lessons learned by parents who walk this road cannot be learned in 40 days, and in many ways our 'fast' never ends.
Nonetheless. Spending 40 days improving my awareness that I do not carry these burdens alone is a good discipline.