Another View of Survival.....

And now a break from bragging about my wonderful weekend.

Babygirl has been lucky enough not to get much air time on the blog lately.  She's been attending school at least three out of five days, and the headaches aren't unbearable on the other days.  In fact, I think she missed a day recently for the ordinary excuse of cramps.  Good job, Babygirl!

But I am always checking out other blogs and websites that might give me insight into what she is going through, or help with what I am going through.  I've become a follower of this blog:

http://thekidneyboy.blogspot.com/2013/06/living-in-past-isnt-just-jethro-tull.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheKidneyBoy+%28The+Kidney+Boy%29

In this particular post, The Kidney Boy speaks poignantly about his disease, about how he can't really forget the past and move on because he misses the young man he was before illness changed him.

I get it.  Not from the perspective of the sick, but from my perspective as a parent.  I miss the parent I once was - the one who could reasonably expect my kid to outlive me.  The less vigilant, more relaxed mama who had time to waste worrying about all the wrong things, like where to spend vacations and whether we wanted to eat out once or twice this week. 

Babygirl is so young, I sometimes wonder if she'll clearly remember not being sick.  Not worrying about what she could or couldn't eat in a restaurant.  Not enduring the frustration of a pill schedule, headaches and loneliness.  I do, and I grieve for her.  And I miss, so desperately, that carefree easygoing child.  I took it all for granted.  All of it. 

Not anymore.

DeeDee