Frankenstorm is moving slowly toward us. Predictions have varied widely, and our community, still reeling from last years' flooding, is feeling some fear. Before I left the office Friday they made us get everything up off the floors and bottom shelves. Stores have been crazy. You can't find batteries, propane tanks or generators. I imagine sump pumps are in short supply too. Shopping carts are full of bottled water. I've seen lines at gas stations, and a lot of general crankiness. Considering that a third of our city was evacuated last year, and many people lost their homes and businesses, the fear is completely understandable.
Babygirl and I spent the day raking leaves, taking down the bike shelter and getting bikes and lawn furniture into the basement. While we were at it, we took all the stuff from the basement that is going to the church rummage sale out to the car, and drove it to the church. This was about three hours of intense labor, and we had a good time doing it. I paid her in Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, with a Boston Cream donut thrown in for good measure (two treats that were forbidden on the dialysis diet by the way). Tomorrow I will fill the bathtub so we have water to flush with if the power goes out. We are as prepared as we can be, I suppose.
But there are storms that you can never prepare for, hurricanes of the body and soul that teach you the true meaning of fear. There is nothing short of life itself that we can lose in a storm worse than what we have already lost. And nothing short of miraculous healing can happen better than what we have experienced this year.
Because for every soul-searing loss, there has been a flood of kindness, prayer and support. If ever I wondered if I was loved or cared for, there can be no remaining doubt - I am. If ever I thought to lose faith in the goodness of the people around me, I cannot consider it. And for all my questions about the love and faithfulness of God, I have to trust that it is His hands at work through the people around me. If they love, and are good, and keep faith, then God will do no less.
So if you see me rant at God, ignore it. He does.