Every once in a while you look around and realize, "Hey, I have nothing to do!" I'll grant you that everyone always has something that needs doing at every single second of every single day, so by 'nothing' I mean 'nothin urgent', but you know what I mean.
Mom is still in the hospital this morning, which means she doesn't need to be awakened, weighed, medicated and coffee'd. Depending on her level of cooperation this can take up to 15 minutes out of my morning routine, and I confess that even though she's been here for six months now I still can't get used to that. So, this morning I realized that I had 15 extra minutes - a longer shower, an extra cup of coffee, a Sudoku puzzle, anything at all that I want!
Until I realized, after my second cup of coffee hit my brain - I have a meeting at work at 7:30, so I have to leave the house a half an hour early.
Such is my life.
The thought of fifteen extra minutes was so intriguing that it made me relax, really relax, for the first time in probably two or three weeks. So even though I really don't have any extra time it did me good.
So I'm grateful. All time is an illusion of sorts. We never really have 'more' or 'less' time - we simply have, all of us, the same amount of time. The perception that we have the freedom to use that time as we wish is an illusion also - we cannot 'trade' one kind of time for another, can we? In truth, we have no control over time at all. Every minute of every day is a gift given to us to use for good or ill. Learning to view time in a less stressful way is something I need to work on.
I can only do what I can do. And I can only do it just so fast. I can view time as 'free' or not no matter WHAT I have to accomplish, right? My thanksgiving is to THE timelord, the one who graces us with time so that we can eventually learn to live outside of it with Him.