Friday, November 29, 2013

Year Three, Week Thirty-six - Thankful For A Healthier Kid.....

Thanksgiving Day was lovely.  Busy - but lovely.  Hubby and I did all of our cooking in that one day, and managed to have a good time doing it.  I was funny that several people commented on how much less chaotic the last hour before dinner was than usual.  Putting mashed potatoes in a crock pot seems like such minor genius, but it did significantly decrease the last-minute rush. 

Turkey, ham, smoked turkey covered in bacon. Homemade cranberry sauce, challah, Brussels sprouts, stuffed celery, fresh salad. Pumpkin bread, stuffing, squash, sweet potatoes.  Pumpkin, apple, and berry pies.  Amazing food, amazing family, amazing riches.

Gratitude for family, a working kidney, snowplows and grandchildren.

There really is no end to our blessings.  But there was on thought in my mind that came and went all day:  One year ago we were unaware that we were standing on the brink of Babygirl's worst hospital stay.

One year ago today she came down with the mystery bug du jour, had her spinal tap, and survived a week of sepsis, nerve pain, and grief.  One year ago we were in the middle of a hopeless, endless run of horrible, horrible headaches that cost her an entire semester of school.  One year ago I felt like I was losing a battle, losing my grip.  Losing my mind.  Losing my child.

Clearly I can still not think of that hospital stay without being awash in those feelings.  The arrival of the 29th of November triggered it all, a cold, ugly flood.

So I stepped back.  I took a moment to stand over my peacefully sleeping, healthy-appearing child.  I took some time to give sincere thanks.  Thanks that we survived that illness.  Thanks that the kidney is still working well despite her body's best efforts to reject it.  Thanks that she hasn't been admitted to the hospital for any illness for an entire year.  In my magically-thinking mind I view that milestone as proof that she is going to be fine and never need to go back in.  My logical, less superstitious self understands that this is arrant nonsense but is willing to just go with it for now.

Another family whose child received a kidney transplant last year was told by their transplant team that the year after transplant would be the worst year of their lives.  Given how little fun the year BEFORE transplant was, I had a hard time imagining why anyone would say such a thing.  I certainly understand it NOW.

So this Friday doesn't seem so 'Black' to me.  I'm going to have another cup of coffee, put in some laundry, get dressed and do a little shopping.  It's time to start the Christmas Gift Master List and give thanks for having so many people I love.

Right after I give thanks to God for a healthier kid.


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